Commencement Address 2009

The Philalawyer

So you’re graduating from college, or maybe grad school. Perhaps you were even dumb enough to have gone to law school. And somewhere in the next three or four weeks, they’re going to put you in a cheap black robe, stick a flat, pointy hat on your skull and seat you in alphabetical order with a bunch of your peers, to listen to sage advice. Some captain of industry, shoestring Kennedy or fading middle-aged celebrity’s going to tell you where you’re headed, what you’ll see… what you ought to do. He’ll throw around words like “dare” and “strive,” and tell you to chase your passions. He’ll tell you life’s a “journey,” liken it to a trek up a mountain, a sea voyage or some historic Roman battle. You’ll sit there through a blinding hangover, stanching an urge to vomit, tuning out most of the words. You’ve heard it all before, the customary overtures and slogans, the charges to go out and “make a difference.” Yeah, yeah, yeah. Leave the world better than I found it. Check. Never lose a sense of wonder at the majesty of humanity. Indeed… And you’ll probably ask yourself, Why all the saccharine bullshit? Why not give me some real fucking advice?

I’m with you, kid. I thought exactly the same thing. The only interesting comment my university commencement speaker offered was, “Always be prepared to change professions. Try everything. Life’s short.” I never forgot that instruction; probably never will. Maybe that was a good thing, maybe not. But in the spirit of offering some similarly memorable advice, something that actually addresses the world you’re going to encounter, the people you’ll have to manipulate for the rest of your career, here’s the commencement address I’d give if I had the podium at your school. The one you’ll never, ever hear.

“Don’t Be the Punchline”

Good morning. I’d like to start by noting, you’re all fucked. The Market’s going to 6000 this summer, unemployment is headed to twenty percent and I think there’s a good chance we’re going to see widespread rioting in the streets before this thing is over. Mutant armies irradiated with dirty bomb fallout, dogs and cats living together… everything but the Rapture. My advice is buy a gun. Something automatic. And get some big dogs. You’ll need them to guard the compound. The good news is you won’t have to pay back those student loans. The bad news is you’ll have to turn tricks for Spam, candy corn and toilet paper, our new forms of currency. I know, I know… How bleak. But you can always look on the bright side. Speaking in the Confucian sense, you’re as wealthy as one can be. These are indeed interesting years. Here’s to surviving them.

Okay. Now that I have your attention, let’s get serious. I’m going to break this down to a series of discrete points, the only conceivable arrangement in which I could hope to impart advice on as general a subject as “How you ought to live your life.” Here we go:

1. Ignorance is bliss.

People will tell you to question, to look inside and underneath all the systems in our society and ask why do what we do. I say leave this to others. The inquiries will drive you mad. We’re a pack of shaved apes fighting to amass the biggest piles of green paper possible, so we can exchange them for cars with DVD players in the ceilings, Italian-tiled kitchens and the satisfaction of telling our neighbors we have a double-double-wide, a 140 inch television, a condo in Breckenridge or a gourmet turkey fryer. Leary said “Tune in, turn on, drop out” back in 1967. In 2009, it’s “Tune out, turn on the TV, pour a Guarana-infused green tea cola down your pie hole and stare at American Idol.” The less you think, the better, because the more you look, the more you’ll find of this - entropy, narrowness and intractable imbecility. Three hundred dollar olive oil, Labradoodle day care centers and sub prime rhinoplasty financing… Purebred $1000 hamsters, mountain bike detailing and platinum plated cell phones… Creationist nature museums, websites selling online gaming weapons for hundreds and thousands of real actual dollars and a whole industry of Ivy League nimrods pimping credit insurance without reserves and offering nothing but an Alfred E. Neuman grin when their “Second Life” economy was downgraded to “FAIL.” Once you pick up that rock, you’re never going to forget the bugs you see underneath it. Better to keep yourself clueless. Take a deep breath, pour a glass of Glenlivet, kiss your lovely wife and admire that gorgeous lawn. You need never think any deeper. Introspection never got anyone a top slot at the cracker factory.

2. Cynics are the only honest people.

Which is why you should always avoid them. It’s hard enough stopping yourself from asking “Why?” The last thing you need is someone else doing it for you, and worse than any of that, actually providing the answer. Unless you make enough money to look down on the whole of it from your helicopter, the trees are the forest. The office, your career, everything you do for money - it’s all make believe, a patchwork of polite systems we’ve constructed wherein we can compete as we did in the days of the Crusades without having to gore each other with swords and maces. The cynic’s like a bad manager. He tells you to hold out for a better title fight that’s never going to come. In the end, he’s right. It’s all a game of diversion, deferment and delusion. But you’re stuck in it either way, so you might as well play along, see if you can cruise through the thing in a fancy car, a big house and maybe a time-share somewhere sunny.

3. Numbers trump words.

Math is the language the one percent of society amassing eighty percent of the nation’s wealth uses to bullshit the other ninety nine percent. Have a talent for writing pop songs? Playing tennis? Painting expensive pictures of nude women in your greenhouse? You can be the best damned artist, tradesman, marketer, religious icon, etc… in the world, but if you don’t know numbers, you’re going to wind up a debt slave of some kind, caught in a bad deal with a middle-man of some sort who’ll take you for your bank. Numbers are the language of power. A 600 math score on your SATs = 800 verbal. The millions of different socioeconomic groups milling about in this country can be boiled down to two simple classes: People who use finance and people who get used by it. Pundits like to say Wall Street types “got lucky” - that they got a break in an industry that minted millionaires by the hundreds. Maybe. Or maybe they put themselves in the position to get lucky. If you want to make millions by thirty five, you have to work in a place where there are millions of dollars floating around you all day, and the only way to do that is to understand numbers. Or at least have enough facility with them to pretend you do.

4. People live in narratives.

First thing you have to realize in the work world is that Americans don’t live in reality. We live in what we want reality to be - a mash-up of skewed perceptions we take from our ingrained biases, accepted myths and cultural reinforcements. And there’s no correcting our vision. A union steward and a banker will almost always see the same closing of a factory as two entirely distinct events, with different actors and forces at fault. And their social networks and the places where they get their news buffer their conclusions, which isn’t by happenstance. Few of the people you’ll meet in the work world will have any interest in seeing things from an angle other than the one they’ve already acquired, and with which they’ve become quite comfortable. The want to be told they’re right by things like Fox News or MSNBC, be assured by Newsmax or Mother Jones. If you want to get along with these people and have them eating from your hand, watch them for a while before you talk, and shift your views to fit theirs. They’ll buy into anything that reinforces their “reality” because they desperately need to believe it’s accurate, and they’re usually the sorts who think the number of people believing in something bears a relationship to its veracity. Stay near these knuckleheads. You can make a lot of money selling things to them.

5. What you know only matters in real work like medicine or engineering. Everywhere else it’s who you know.

Hope you got loaded with the right people while you were in school here. Don’t shake your head. You heard me. When you’re building bridges or doing heart valve replacements, yes, your skill is paramount. But in every profession outside the “real,” or “hard” trades, it inevitably comes down to sales, and sales comes down to connections. Being able to shoot sixty nine on a decent PGA rated course or get clients into an exclusive nightclub is worth twice the value of your class rank or merit scholar awards. You can be three IQ points above retarded and still make partner in a consulting or law firm if your uncle owns a business using seven figures worth of services a year. You know that guy in your fraternity house whose family came over on the Mayflower? The one whose house on the Cape had a name instead of a street address? He’s got connections, and every door’s going to be open to him from day one. If you don’t have that, and most of us don’t, you’d better find a way to get yourself wired. Smile, shake the right hands and get the cash crowd to like you. And no, it’s not an excuse that you’re working too hard to take the time. Slamming you with work is how management creates “lifers,” the employees who’ll never be anything but hands. A book of business is the only leverage you’ll ever have, and the only hope you have to get rich. If you don’t have the personality to sell, go work for the government. That or move to a cottage in the woods right now, save yourself the frustration.

You want to better yourself, better our political system? Turn off the junk and lock up your wallet. Starve the beast until it chokes on its swollen tongue.

(For Part II, Part III and the conclusion of this essay, see Philalawyer's website: www.philalawyer.com )

(Art by Black Flynn: Time Consuming)

Air Force One Manhattan flyover sending a message to Obama?

According to the Department of Defense and the mainstream media, yesterday's flyover by a plane that is used to fly the president (it's called Air Force One when the president is on board) and two F-16s over Manhattan, causing thousands to flee in panic, was just an innocent photo op. But if that was the case, why did the DoD alert the NYCPD with directives to local authorities not to disclose information about it?

According to NYPD Spokesman Paul Browne, "typically a flight like this would be publicised to avoid causing a panic, but they were under orders not to in this case." See: "Air Force One flyover sparks panic in New York."

In a memo obtained by CBS 2 HD, the Federal Aviation Administration's James Johnston said the agency was aware of "the possibility of public concern regarding DOD (Department of Defense) aircraft flying at low altitudes" in an around New York City. But they demanded total secrecy from the NYPD, the Secret Service, the FBI and even the mayor's office and threatened federal sanctions if the secret got out.

Why would the DoD need to keep a photo op secret, especially when it was going to be seen by thousands anyway, and (they must have known) would cause a panic?

As someone who has a good friend who was seriously traumatized from the events of 9/11 (she was at her apartment directly across the street from the towers on 9/11 and saw people jumping), this event must be beyond her comprehension and another blow to her fragile constitution. Here is a video of how people reacted yesterday.

It also doesn't seem plausible that the DoD wouldn't tell Obama that a Air Force One plane would be slowly flying over Manhattan mimicking the 9/11 flight path, followed by a fighter jet. Obama and Mayor Bloomberg said they didn't know about it and were "furious" upon hearing the news. From the UK Guardian linked above:

"Federal officials provided few other details and would not say why the public and area building security managers weren't notified.

President Barack Obama was furious, a White House official who did not wish to be identified told the Associated Press."

Here's Mayor Bloomberg on the flyover:



This event and the excuse for it just doesn't pass the smell test. Even New Yorkers are not buying the "photo op" charade: check out these New York Times comments. It seems like something else was going on. Was someone sending a message to the new president to turn down the rhetoric on prosecuting Bush officials for torture? Or possibly to put pressure on him to go along with the swine flu program and mandatory vaccinations?

Even if we don't want to get into conspiracy theories, if anything, Louis Caldera, the White House Military Office Director, who claimed responsibility for this incredible stupid stunt should be fired. But knowing how our government in the past rewarded incompetence and failure, he might just be given a medal.

Mexican swine flu outbreak a man-made pandemic?

A company that delivered contaminated vaccines with live avian flu and human flu viruses earlier this year is now to lead the charge for designing vaccines for the Mexican Swine Flu outbreak.

According the Chicago Breaking News Center Baxter International, Inc. will take a leading role in creating a vaccine for the latest outbreak:

"Deerfield-based medical product giant Baxter International Inc. is working with the World Health Organization on a potential vaccine to curb the spread of the swine flu outbreak in Mexico, the company confirmed today.

Baxter, which has a growing vaccine business, has worked with foreign countries in the past to develop vaccines for the H5N1 virus commonly known as bird flu. Baxter has a cell-based technology that allows the company to more rapidly produce vaccines in the event of a pandemic than a decades-old method that uses eggs to process vaccines and can take weeks or even months longer." See "Baxter to work to contain Mexico flu outbreak"

This is a significant development due to the fact that the Baxter International, Inc., is still being investigated by the World Health Organization and the European Center for Disease Control as to why, and how, they mixed live avian flu (H5H1) viruses with a human flu (H3N2) viruses, which, had they been administered, could have set of a global pandemic earlier this year.

According to authorities, this contamination could not have been a mistake due to industry and government enforced lab safety protocols designed to prevent such contamination. For instance, Baxter International adheres to something called BSL3 (Biosafety Level 3) lab safety protocols that put in place to prevent cross-contamination of materials.

As explained on Wikipedia:

“Laboratory personnel have specific training in handling pathogenic and potentially lethal agents, and are supervised by competent scientists who are experienced in working with these agents. This is considered a neutral or warm zone. All procedures involving the manipulation of infectious materials are conducted within biological safety cabinets or other physical containment devices, or by personnel wearing appropriate personal protective clothing and equipment. The laboratory has special engineering and design features.”

If Baxter were following BSL3 procedures this contamination could only be explained through 1: either gross negligence or 2: willful contamination.

So, why would a company that was caught recently distributing live avian and human flu vaccines, perhaps with the intent to stage a global flu pandemic, be allowed to develop a vaccine for the World Health Organization to combat the new swine flu outbreak? This defies logic and a good explanation... that is, unless that logic and explanation is a bad one.

For instance, we might want to contemplate that a man-made epidemic could be a useful tool to create the conditions for greater control over society by creating the appearance that a government is protecting citizens, while at the same time asking citizens to give up much of their freedoms and liberties. Also, there is the added benefit that one can make enormous profits if one has the cure.

Should we immediately dismiss such unpalatable notions when in our recent history we have seen people in high places in government and industry using fear to consolidate power and to profit from such scenarios? As Joseph Mercola writes:

"Not long ago, President Bush sought to instill panic in this country by telling us a minimum of 200,000 people will die from the avian flu pandemic, but it could be as bad as 2 million deaths in this country alone.

This hoax is then used to justify the immediate purchase of 80 million doses of Tamiflu, a worthless drug that in no way shape or form treats the avian flu, but only decreases the amount of days one is sick and can actually contribute to the virus having more lethal mutations.

So the U.S. placed an order for 20 million doses of this worthless drug at a price of $100 per dose. That comes to a staggering $2 billion.

We are being told that Roche manufactures Tamiflu and, in a recent New York Times article, they were battling whether or not they would allow generic drug companies to help increase their production.

But if you dig further you will find that a drug was actually developed by a company called Gilead that 10 years ago gave Roche the exclusive rights to market and sell Tamiflu...

...If you read the link below from Gilead, you'll discover Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld was made the chairman of Gilead in 1997.

Since Rumsfeld holds major portions of stock in Gilead, he will handsomely profit from the scare tactics of the government that is being used to justify the purchase of $2 billion of Tamiflu."

Rumsfeld and the Bush administration also tried to scare the population into buying and stockpiling Vistide, a vaccine to combat a disease that is virtually extinct, that is, except in labs -- smallpox. F. William Engdahl writes in the article "Tamiflu, Vistide and the Pentagon Agenda":

"The scare around smallpox and what to do was curiously similar then as it is today against Bird Flu pandemics. Defense Secretary Rumsfeld at that time ordered members of the Armed Forces to be inoculated against smallpox, an inoculation with horrendous side-effects. Rumsfeld’s smallpox package also included ordering Pentagon stockpiling of a drug named Vistide, supposedly to minimize side-effects of smallpox infection should it occur.

The Bush Administration had made repeated attempts to convince the public and above all, the health and medical profession to go with mass inoculation against smallpox. In 2002 the CDC and certain high Administration officials were calling for pre-emptive smallpox inoculation of broad sectors of the population against threat of terrorists unleashing the pox. The Government began stockpiling hundreds of millions of smallpox vaccine doses."

As we know, fear sells — sells policy; sells products; sells freedoms. It even sells movies. The script from V for Vendetta sums up the motivations of a fascist elite:

"The socially-conservative and openly fascist Norsefire party led a purge to restore order; enemies of the state (Muslims, Jews, blacks, homosexuals, communists) were kidnapped by the secret police during the night. The country was divided over the loss of freedom until a bioterrorist attack occurred, killing about 80,000 people. The fear generated by the attack allowed Norsefire to silence opposition and win the next election by a landslide. A cure for the virus was discovered soon afterwards by the Norsefire company, Viadoxin. With the silent consent of the people, Norsefire turned Britain totalitarian, with their leader Adam Sutler as High Chancellor. The virus had been engineered by Norsefire as a plot to gain power, through deadly experimentation on "social deviants" and political dissidents at Larkhill detention center. V had been one of the prisoners, but instead of being killed by the experiments, he had gained heightened mental and physical abilities. V eventually destroyed the center and escaped, vowing to take revenge on Norsefire's regime." — V for Vendetta Movie Description

Are we beginning to see another example of truth mimicking fiction?

(It has been reported by various news organizations that military flights have increased dramatically during the month of April at San José's Mineta Airport, right before first reports of the swine flu outbreak. According to KLIV 1590 "Charter flights from the U.S. military will be taking off and landing at Mineta San Jose International Airport during the next few weeks -- but it's all very mysterious. Airport spokesman David Vossbrink says the military is not providing any details about the flights, but there will be a significant number of them." See: MYSTERIOUS LATE-NIGHT MILITARY FLIGHTS HEADED FOR SAN JOSE. Are we getting set up for martial law in our streets?)